Controlling Anger

There was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually decreased. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.

The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.” “Of course I can,” said the father.

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) has said, “Strong man is not the one who is strong in wrestling; but strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of Anger.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Hazrat Atiyah bin Urwah as Sadi (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said, “ Anger comes from the Shaitaan, and the Shaitaan was created from the fire, and the fire is extinguished by water. So when anyone of you becomes angry, he should make ablution.” (Abu Dawud)

Once the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was wearing a beautiful outer garment with detailed embroidery. He was walking and a poor Arab came running towards the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) and tugged at his garment and demanding that He (S.A.W) should give him some of what Allah (S.W.T) had given Him. The garment that the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was wearing became entangled around His blessed neck and left a mark. However our beloved Prophet (S.A.W) never became angry or rebuked the man, but merely smiled and gave him what he had asked for’. (Bukhari, Muslim)

It is impossible for anger and goodness to co-exist together, as it is impossible for good and evil to be together. If we desire to have good manners and gentility imbedded in our personalities we must learn to control our anger. A true Muslim is the one who has Adab (good manners) instilled inside him/her and the one who lacks in Adab also lacks in Deen (Religion).